The Mismatched Murderer
by Shego2Drakken
Summary: Someone attacks a London mouse (It ain't Basil, folks), but the murderer isn't what he seems . . . Be gentle. (Translation: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!)
1. The Game is Afoot

**The Mismatched Murderer: Chapter One**

Disclaimer: I own no one. Doran, Wotton and Vole belong to one Diane M. Tran, and everyone you recognize from the movie belongs to Disney. Lucky idiots. However, the murderer and anyone you _don't recognize from the first two probably go to me._

(Cut to the foggy streets of London. Doran rounds a corner and walks straight up to a gun pointed at him. Doran looks shocked for a moment, then realizes who holds the gun.)

Doran: Wotton.

Wotton: Doran, I'm a little surprised you recognize me.

Doran: After the amount of times I've seen your face, it's not hard to forget. Now, why don't you put that gun away before you hurt someone, namely me?

Wotton: (sternly) No.

Doran: No? Surely you jest?

Wotton: No, I don't. However, I am willing to be sporting. We'll make it a duel. Pistols at ten paces.

Doran: Very well.

(Cut to Doran and Wotton, back-to-back, pistols at the ready.)

Doran: On ten, we turn and fire.

Wotton: Right.

(They start taking paces.)

Doran: One, two, three . . .

(While Doran is counting, Wotton is readying his pistol.)

Doran: . . . Eight, nine-.

(On nine, Wotton turns and fires several shots into Doran, who falls in shock to the ground. Surprisingly, there's no blood. Wotton looks down in disdain at Doran, then pulls out a miniature recorder {Like the one that one scientist had from The Core}.)

Wotton: (Different voice; Sort of like Kim, yet somewhat like Nala as a cub) Subject showed no sign of suspicion of a disguise or deception. Which proves that the D.P.I (Digital Profile Integrator) was either or a success, or people were really thick back then.

("Wotton" leans down to Doran, and removes several darts from the supposed wounds. Then she stands up, and slinks off into the shadows.)

"Wotton": (whining) They don't pay me enough for this job . . .


	2. Ratigan's ALIVE!

**The Mismatched Murderer: Chapter two**

(Cut to the interior of Basil's flat. Dawson is reading the paper, while Basil is pacing.)

Dawson: (looking up from his paper) Confound it, Basil. How long have you been pacing?

Basil: (looking up) Hmm?

Dawson: I'm surprised you haven't worn a hole in the floor.

(Sure enough, there is a slight hole where Basil is standing, which is at knee depth.)

Basil: Sorry, old chap. It's just that it's been several weeks without a decent case.

(Dawson turns back to the paper, reads for a moment, then turns back to Basil.)

Dawson: I say, Basil, you might want to take a look at this.

(Basil snatches up the paper from Dawson and looks at the headline mentioned. It reads "Mysterious Assailant Attacks Local Criminal Mouse, Leaves Dead".)

Basil: Hmm . . . . Interesting.

(Cut to the interior of the Scotland Yard office belonging to Inspector Vole. Vole is sitting at a desk, and Basil and Dawson are sitting in chairs in front of it.)

Basil: So, you're certain that Doran is dead?

Vole: Absolutely. We checked his pulse and breathing rate.

Basil: And?

Vole: There were none.

Basil: Of course, the body _could have been switched with a dummy._

Vole: No, there was an autopsy, which disproves any foul play with the body.

(Cut to the morgue. Doran's still body lies under a sheet on a table.)

Vole: There were no bullet holes, so we can rule out someone shooting him-.

Basil: Did you take a blood sample?

Vole: Yes, we did. Take a look.

(Basil walks over to another table, and peers through the eyepiece of a microscope.)

Basil: Curious.

Dawson: What?

Vole: Yes, what?

Basil: There are traces of some strange chemical in the blood sample unlike any I've ever seen before, or any that come to memory.

(Suddenly, Doran sits up straight on the table, panting heavily, and _really_ scaring the other three mice.)

Dawson: AAAHHH!!!

(Basil walks over to Doran.)

Basil: Doran.

Doran: (really freaked) What happened? The last thing I remembered was Wotton standing over me, and . . . . Where am I?

Basil: You don't remember?

Doran: Not a thing.

Dawson: Why do you suppose Wotton would try to kill Doran?

Basil: Probably under someone's orders, I suspect.

Vole: We'll be leaving that for the police to discover. (to Basil) Basil, you'd best get home and let the police handle this matter.

Basil: Nonsense, Vole. Something particularly strange happened, and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

(Suddenly, a dark figure looms outside a window in the morgue, which looks all too familiar, and it spooks Dawson. The figure is-.)

Dawson: B-Basil?

(Basil turns away from the microscope.)

Basil: What is it, Dawson?

Dawson: (pointing and stuttering) Re-Ra-Ri-.

Vole: Who?

Basil: Confound it, Dawson!

Dawson: (Practically on the point of screaming) **_RATIGAN_!!!**

(Sure enough, Professor James Ratigan is staring in through the window, an evil smile on his face. But he ducks out of sight.)

Basil: Dawson!

(Dawson pulls out his revolver, firing a shot, which misses Ratigan by a mile.)

Basil: (to himself) Blast it. (to the others) Come on!

(Basil, Vole and Dawson leave the room, leaving a very confused Doran.)

Doran: What about-?

(Vole runs back into the room.)

Vole: Oh, sorry. (Snaps handcuffs on Doran) Almost forgot.

(Doran stares at the cuffs, silently fuming. Cut to the interior of Vole's office. The lamp is unlit, so there's no light. A huge figure is leaning back in a chair behind the desk with its feet on the table.)

Dawson: (outside) I assure you, Vole. I saw Ratigan!

Vole: (also outside) Impossible, Doctor. Ratigan has been dead for several months now!

Basil: (They're all outside the office, stupid.) What about the fact that there was no body found?

Vole: (beat) True, true.

(Vole opens the door, and they all walk in, oblivious of the figure.)

Basil: So, logically, he must have either survived, or his body was picked up by someone.

Vole: But how can you be sure it was _actually him?_

Dawson: Blast it, Vole, aren't you going to turn on a lamp in here?

Vole: Fine, fine. (Turns on a lamp)

Voice: (smugly with false concern) Am I interrupting something, gentlemen?

(Basil, Vole and Dawson all turn to the source of the voice and gasp. Pan over to reveal that the light has revealed the one and only Professor James Ratigan. He is smiling evilly and insanely, and holding a small, nondescript rubber ball in one hand.)

Dawson: (breathlessly) Ratigan.

Vole: (same state) Bloody hell.

Basil: (Confused) Ratigan? (back in form) Ratigan! I'm a little surprised to see you, (giving Vole an "I told you so" look) alive.

Vole: (chuckles meekly) Sorry.

Ratigan: (calmly, as if Vole's apology never happened) My dear Basil, I'm a little surprised that you're so pleased to find out I survived the fall from the clock tower. (chuckles) Congratulations.

Dawson: There's just one thing I'm unclear on.

Basil: What's that?

Dawson: Everything.

Basil: The only thing that confuses me is this: How _did you survive the fall from Big Ben?_

Ratigan: (frowns) Garbage scow.

Basil: (momentarily triumphant) Ha! I knew it! (to Dawson) I believe an "I told you so" is in order.

Ratigan: (turning the unadorned rubber ball over in his fingers) But, enough about me. I know you survived, Basil. A brief check of my surroundings revealed that you hadn't fallen into the scows, ah, _cargo like I had. That left only two options. One, you had plunged into the river and to your death, but no body was found, which only left one option. You had managed to grab onto the propeller from what remained of my dirigible and was able to pedal your way back up to the aircraft you constructed to pursue me. (evilly chuckles) Which means the game isn't over. Oh, no. Far from it._

(By this point, Ratigan has stopped turning the unsophisticated rubber ball in his hand, and is now holding it between his pointer finger and thumb.)

Dawson: (half-terrified, half-curious) It-It's not?

Ratigan: Oh, no, my dear doctor. The game is just beginning.

(Suddenly, Ratigan vaults over the desk and throws the simple ball onto the ground, and it releases a cloud of thick, crimson smoke. Pulling out what appears to be a revolver, Ratigan turns to face the desk, and fires several dozen shots. When the smoke clears, Vole, Basil and Dawson are lying on the floor, unconscious, but there are no bullet holes _or darts in any of them. On the other hand, there are several bullet holes, all of them riddling the desk in the message "The game is just beginning". "Ratigan" is now wearing a gas mask, and as the last of the smoke clears, he pulls it off, revealing a very smug grin.)_

"Ratigan": (Kimmish, Nalaish voice) Well, _that was easier than they made it out to be. (Frowns briefly) But Basil suspected something . . . (smiles) Maybe this mission will be quite entertaining after all! (Ratigan voice) Pity I missed all the shots._

("Ratigan" sneaks out of the window, chuckling evilly in Ratigan's voice.)


	3. Veeken the Shapeshifter

(Cut to the exterior of a small boat, like one you'd find in your local harbor, which aren't too shabby, but not too fancy. A small plaque reveals that this particular ship is called the R.L.S. Legacy. Cut to the interior, where "Professor Ratigan" is walking down a corridor, proving the ship is a lot larger than it appears to be. Taking off "his" opera cape and hat, he places them on a coat rack inside the doorway. The top is Rufus, of all things, holding a globe above his head with the hooks jutting out from it, ala Atlas. There are other things on it, such as a deerstalker cap, a baseball cap with the symbol of a dragon and a hat like Darkwing Duck's. "Ratigan" comes to a room, which looks like a bedroom, only there's a swivel chair in front of a computer styled like the one Darkwing has in his hideout. Sitting down in the chair, "Ratigan" pushes some buttons, and the computer turns on. The letters DV in bold, bright green type (**DV**) appear on the screen. A female rat with tan fur and dark brown hair and about 14 years old, wearing a green tank top and navy blue pants, walks in and looks at "Ratigan".)

Girl rat: (faking concern) Veeken, is that you? I didn't recognize you for a moment.

("Ratigan", or Veeken as she is known turns to face the girl with a slightly annoyed frown on her face.)

Veeken: (rolls her eyes) Des . . .

Des: (smiles sheepishly) Sorry, Vee. You _do look kinda funny that way._

Veeken: Fine. (Rolls up her sleeve, revealing a device sort of like Tanya's omnitool) No one appreciates GJ nowadays.

(Veeken presses a button, and she glows briefly before changing back from Ratigan into a 14 -year old rat with slightly darker brown fur, but with dark brown, almost blackish hair. The only difference is that she has an elegant tuft of fur on the end of her tail like a lion's, and the ears are more like a lion's.)

Veeken: Better?

Des: Much.

(Veeken turns back to typing on the computer.)

Des: So, how'd the experimenting with the D.P.I go?

Veeken: Excellent. They never suspected a thing. Either it works better than I thought, or people in this time period were really thick.

(Suddenly, there is a Beep-beep-beep-beep that emanates from one of Ratigan's suit pockets. Veeken reaches into one of the pockets of his waistcoat and withdraws a Kimmunicator, only it's light blue and crimson red instead of the traditional bright green and blue.)

Veeken: (activating it) What's the sitch?

(A 19-year old girl wearing a blue shirt and black cargoes appears on-screen. This is Ash.)

Ash: Hey, Vee. How'd the test run of the D.P.I go?

Veeken: Spankin'.

Ash: Great. Anyway, I just got a call from the police. It turns out that Doctor Drakken and Shego have escaped from prison and are heading in your direction.

Des: Well, _someone_ got their hands on a time machine.

Veeken: Don't worry, Ash. If they try to stop me, I'll just kick their butts like last time.

Ash: Yes, but there's worse news. It turns out they busted out Duff Killigan and The Jackal as well.

Veeken: That _is_ bad. (beat) Wait, does it get _worse_?!

Ash: Actually, it does. It turns out GJ doesn't think you're being efficient enough with the testing of the D.P.I, so they sent another agent to help you.

Veeken: Don't tell me, Will Du?

Ash: (defeated) Will Du. (normal) Don't worry, I delayed them as much as I could. They'll be here in about a week at the least.

Veeken: Thanks. (turns off the Kimmunicator) ACK! Doesn't GJ realize Will Du is the most corrupt agent they have?

Des: Keeping in mind that he's the _only corrupt agent they have._

Veeken: True.

Des: Say, Vee?

Veeken: Yeah, Des?

Des: What _was_ that stuff you put in those darts you, I mean, "Wotton" shot at Doran?

Veeken: It's a special chemical that causes all bodily functions to shut down for a while then restart.

Des: So, it's sort of a powerful tranquilizer?

Veeken: Precisely. C'mon, Des, we've got work to do, and I've got to change out of these clothes. 'Kay?

Des: Right behind you.

(Both leave the room. A close-up of the computer screen reveals that Veeken was looking at a profile of none other than Professor James Ratigan.)


	4. First Signs of Danger or Something Else?

(Cut to the interior of Veeken's bedroom. It is like any normal teenage bedroom, or it would, if it weren't for the glowing blue portal next to the computer desk. Veeken walks in, now wearing a forest-green tank top-styled jersey with the words "Mt. Healthy Tigers", which are yellow and in jersey-style type, with a yellow with green stripes tiger underneath it, and tan cargoes.)

Veeken: Geez, that's the last time I ever say "It can't get any worse" again.

Voice: Problem?

(Veeken whips around, ready to fight who said that, but relaxes. Cut to what Veeken was ready to fight: A pale-white mouse, about Basil's size, sitting on the bed, wearing Neo-styled clothing {The black leather jacket, black shirt, black pants, boots, sunglasses}. This is Neo {AN: Thought I was gonna say Morpheus? Huh?}.)

Veeken: Thank God. For a moment, I thought it was something dangerous like, oh, say, Shego.

Neo: (chuckles) Very funny, Veeken. (stands up from the bed) So, how's your father?

Veeken: Same old, same old. Personally, I'm surprised he doesn't get annoyed whenever your name gets unearthed in the conversation.

Neo: If you're referring to the incident with Eris, I was barely involved. All I did was give your father a little nudge out the door.

Veeken: (laughs) Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace. Or, at least, by _Basil at any rate._

(Neo smiles.)

Veeken: (cont) So, what did you come here for, or did you just miss the melodious sound of my voice?

Neo: Oh, right. I came to tell you that there was some suspicious activity at the local museum.

Veeken: Oh.

Neo: I told Ash earlier, but I decided to tell you myself. As for Ash, she should be here in about 3, 2, 1-.

(Veeken's Kimmunicator beeps.)

Veeken: Should I?

Neo: (shrugging) Might as well.

(Veeken answers her Kimmunicator, holding back a snicker.)

Veeken: What's the sitch, Ash?

Ash: There have been some suspicious activities at the Mousepolitan Museum of Art. From what signs I've seen, I think Drakken and Shego might be behind it. (notices Veeken's expression) What?

Veeken: Um, someone already told me that. (holds the Kimmunicator so Ash can see Neo)

Ash: Oh. So, you're up for a mission?  
Veeken: Definitely. I'll go get Des and we'll be off. (to Neo) Wanna come with?

Neo: No thanks. I have some work to do for HJ. Y'know, stuff for "you-know-what".

Veeken: Huh? Oh, that.

(Cut to the interior of the Mousepolitan Museum. A mouse guard is sleeping in a chair with his feet propped up. Suddenly, there's a crash, and he awakens. Along with him, several mice dash off-screen in the direction of the crash. Suddenly-.)

Guard: What the-?!

(Several sounds of fighting can be heard, then there's silence. A shadowy, feminine figure stalks on screen, and raises a green, flaming fist. Cut to the roof. A rope shoots in from off-screen, attaching to the roof, and Veeken and Des, dressed in KP styled-clothing, slide down the rope to the roof. Cut to Veeken and Des )

Des: Do you suppose anyone's suspected anything yet?

Veeken: No way. The disguises were foolproof.

Des: So you think Shego might fall for them?

Veeken: Yeah . . . . no.

Des: Darn.

(An eerily familiar form appears behind Des and Veeken.)

Veeken: Say, Des?

Des: What?

Veeken: Have you ever had the feeling where you can't tell if you're awake or if you're dreaming?

Des: Uh, Veek? Wrong Fanfiction.net section.

(The form moves slowly into the light, revealing Professor Ratigan. The **_REAL_** Ratigan {AN: That'd make an interesting title for a cloning fic, don't ya think}.)

Veeken: Sorry. I mean, do you have the feeling we're being-?

Ratigan: Watched?

(Des and Veeken turn to face Ratigan with embarrassed looks on their faces.)

Des: Um, hi.

Veeken: (chuckles) Hi.

(There is a moment of silence while Ratigan leers over Des and Veeken.)

Des: Um, toodles.

(Des and Veeken dive into the now-open skylight. Veeken pulls out a grappling hook gun and fires it at a rafter, pulling her and Des to safety. There is a brief moment of stillness.)

Veeken: Well, now we're-.

(Shego leaps up to the rafter the grappling hook is attached to.)

Shego: Hi.

Des: In deep doodoo.

(To Be Continued . . .)


	5. Out of the Frying Pan

(Shego is standing over Veeken and Des menacingly.)

Des: (laughs embarrassedly) So, I guess you might as well let us go, y'know, to give us a fair chance?

Shego: Mmmm, nope.

Des: Well it was worth a shot.

(Shego activates her gloves, and slices through the grappling hook. There is a moment of shocked silence.)

Des: (cont) Or maybe it wasn't.

(Des and Veeken start to plummet to the ground. Veeken quickly loads a new grappling hook into the gun and fires it. It attaches, and Veeken and Des swing back up to the beam.)

Veeken: (Handing the grappling hook gun to Des) Go after Drakken and the others. I'll follow you in a bit.

(Des, using the grappling hook, rappels to the ground. Meanwhile, Veeken strikes a defensive pose. A basic "Kim vs. Shego" battle begins. Meanwhile, Des dashes from room to room, searching for the other three villains {AN: The villains are mouse-sized, like Des and Veeken}.)

Des: (talking to herself) Now, if I was a bad guy, where would I be?

(She's standing in a doorway, and immediately ducks out of the doorway because, beyond that doorway, Drakken and Killigan are working on opening a mouse-sized glass case, with The Jackal standing guard.)

Des: (cont) Where the huge gem is. Obviously.

(Cut to the interior of the room where the case is being broken into.)

Drakken: Just a few more minutes…

???: Evening, gentlemen.

(Drakken, Killigan, and The Jackal turn to face the person who's speaking. Drakken and Killigan look up in shock, but the Jackal merely grins evilly.)

Jackal: Well, well, well. It appears this place has a bit of a rodent problem.

(Cut to who the three baddies are looking at: Professor Ratigan.)

Ratigan: And here I was thinking I was the only one with the cunning to attempt something like this.

(Drakken's look of shock turns to a look of evil amusement.)

Drakken: Well then, you should have also figured out by now that only one of us will get the gem, and it _won't be you. As the saying goes, "there can be only one"-._

Killigan: Oh, shut up and let us take care of him, laddie!

Drakken: (annoyed) Fine. (snaps) Jackal?

(The Jackal starts to move towards Ratigan {AN: Have you ever wondered what Ratigan would look like in comparison to the Jackal if this ever happened?}.)

Ratigan: (thinking) Why doesn't this surprise me? (out loud) Is this what you had in mind? So he happens to be a muscle-bound henchman. Nothing interesting there.

(The Jackal zaps Ratigan with his eye beams, throwing him against the wall. He's not hurt, just somewhat dazed.)

Ratigan: (cont) Well, _that's_ something new.

(Des's eyes widen.)

Des: I'd better get Veeken!

(Des dashes back to the room where Shego and Veeken are still fighting.)

Des: (cont) Veek!

(Veeken is momentarily distracted, and Shego uses this moment to escape. Veeken goes after her, leaping onto the alternating walls in the corner, eventually to land safely, then chases after her. Cue music: Bad Reputation "Halfcocked" {As background music, duh}. Veeken dashes into the room, and sees Ratigan being backed along the ground by The Jackal, and does a jump-kick to the latter's shoulder, temporarily distracting him.)

Veeken: Get outta here!

Ratigan: (scrambling to his feet) You don't need to tell _me twice!_

(The Jackal swipes at Veeken, but she does a back-handspring to escape. Meanwhile, Des knocks a suit of armor onto Drakken, distracting all villains long enough for Veeken and Des to escape from the room. Cut to Ratigan, looking for a way back to the room with the jewel, which is now subsequently unguarded. Suddenly, Shego lands in front of Ratigan, igniting her hands.)

Shego: And where are _you_ going?

Ratigan: (chuckles nervously; waves) Hi.

(Veeken drops down behind Ratigan.)

Veeken: I was wondering where I'd find you.

(Shego manages to snare Ratigan, using him like a rodent shield. Veeken tries to hit Shego, with her merely dodging the attack. Eventually, as Veeken hits, she holds Ratigan up in front of her. Veeken's hand stops about an inch from his face.)

Ratigan: Hey!

(Shego throws Ratigan at Veeken, who dodges by jumping over him, and pursues Shego. Ratigan rubs his head, and looks after the long-gone Veeken. Cut to Duff Killigan, firing exploding golf balls at Des, who dodges. Finally, she grabs a shield from one of the suits of armor and hits one of the golf balls back at him. He jumps at the last second before the golf ball hits, and there is a hole where he was. Through this hole, we can see Veeken going after Shego and Drakken, who now have the gem. Shego nearly reaches the doorway, but a pair of small daggers pin her to the wall, making her drop the gem, which Drakken picks up.)

Ratigan: Hello.

(Shego rips the daggers from the wall, and Ratigan pulls a sword from its sheath. A sword battle breaks out, which ends in Ratigan knocking the daggers out of Shego's hands, but accidentally letting go of the sword as well.)

Shego: Not too shabby with the sword, are you?

Ratigan: I'd love to stay and talk, but I have a gem to catch. Adieu.

(Ratigan dashes off in the direction Drakken went. Meanwhile, Drakken tosses the gem up a hole in the ceiling, which the Jackal catches. He runs off, with Des in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, Killigan is running from Veeken.)

Killigan: The wee lassie's a savage!

(Killigan runs into Drakken.)

Drakken: Killigan, Ratigan's right behind me!

Killigan: I've got problems of me own, laddie.

(Ratigan and Veeken are running towards them, being chased by Shego.)

Ratigan: Do you really think you can get that gem before me?

Veeken: And let Drakken get away with it? Fat chance?

Ratigan: You think you're so amazing with your bad attitude problem.

Veeken: Must be genetics.

(Ratigan pauses, considering this.)

Ratigan: What do you mean, gene-?

(Of course this means Veeken moves ahead of him, leaping up to the wall and jumping back and forth to propel herself.)

Ratigan: (cont) Hey! Come back here! You think you're so amazing with your strange leapings and your childlike reflexes, but you're not!

(Veeken jumps through the doorway, clearing where Drakken and Killigan have golf clubs in position, apparently to trip the first thing that comes through the doorway.)

Drakken: Well, that's Shego, so-.

(But Ratigan trips, flying through the air, hitting Veeken when she looked through the doorway.)

Killigan: And that's Ratigan.

Drakken: Killigan, shield.

(Killigan throws a shield to Drakken.)

Drakken: (cont) Come on, Veeky.

(On the last "Not me", Drakken and Killigan are hiding behind the door, holding shields and when Shego comes through the door, they hit her simultaneously with their shields, thinking she's Des or Veeken. She keels over, unconscious.)

Drakken: Whoops. Shego, you okay? Um, Shego?

(Veeken peeks through the doorway again.)

Veeken: Sucker.

(Ratigan is standing right behind her.)

Ratigan: Who are you calling a sucker, sneak?

Veeken: (chuckles nervously; waves) Hi.

(To Be Continued…)


	6. And Into the Fire

(Ratigan is standing behind Veeken.)

Veeken: So, you're not still mad about the whole "letting the other villains get away with the gem" thing, are you?

(Ratigan swipes at Veeken, who ducks under the swipe, running into the room.)

Veeken: (cont) I take that as a 'yes'.

(They start circling.)

Ratigan: Who do you think you are, you insolent brat?

Veeken: I know you are, but what am I?

Ratigan: (smiles) I know what you're up to.

Veeken: You _do_?

Ratigan: Yes. You're trying to light a fire under my ego. Typical fight banter.

Veeken: (to herself) Darn.

(Ratigan stops for a moment, and appears to actually _look at Veeken.)_

Ratigan: Hmmm. You look familiar. Have I threatened you before?

Veeken: I make it a point to avoid familiarity with those I can't easily dispatch. And I don't mean the kind of familiarity you might be thinking of.

Ratigan: Ah. Well, if you know _me, even though I don't know you, then you must know it isn't wise to cross blades with a criminal genius._

Veeken: (sighs; rolls her eyes) Let's just bring it, shall we?

Ratigan: Yes. Let's.

(Ratigan whips out a sword and starts swiping at Veeken, who leaps out of slicing distance, and hangs on a tapestry.)

Veeken: You're good. I take it you practice a lot?

Ratigan: I do.

Veeken: You need to find a girlfriend. Or perhaps you've already found one, and are otherwise incapable of telling her of your love for her.

(They continue to fight.)

Veeken: (smiles wickedly) She loves another, doesn't she?

(Ratigan is taken aback by this and backs off.)

Veeken: (cont) Ah, it appears I've struck the proverbial gold.

Ratigan: How do you know?

Veeken: How do I know? Let's just say I'm a very smart girl.

Ratigan: Well, if you're _so_ smart, then you must know that I've killed people like you in the past.

(They continue to fight again, and start to circle.)

Veeken: Look, if you could guess what I was doing with the "lighting a fire under your ego" trick, then I can obviously guess what you're doing.

Ratigan: Then tell me. _What_ am I doing?

Veeken: You're trying to save face. _Obviously._

(Ratigan is shocked, but then-.)

Ratigan: Well, then, how do you know about-

(Ratigan pauses. Should he tell the truth, or be anonymous?)

Veeken: About Ms. Serantis?

(Ratigan's eyes widen: She knows.)

Ratigan: Well… (sighs; He's lost _this battle) yes. But how? How did you-?_

Veeken: How did I know? (chuckles) Let's just say I'm a very smart girl.

(Des is right behind Ratigan, though he doesn't know it. Suddenly, Ratigan gasps in pain, and clutches his shoulder, retrieving a hypodermic dart.)

Ratigan: What…?

Veeken: It's a sedative.

Ratigan: Oh…

(Ratigan collapses on the floor, unconscious.)

Veeken: (looks around a moment) Des?

(Des walks towards her, carrying what appears to be a dart rifle.)

Des: Yes?

Veeken: Okay, _what is with the rifle_?

Des: Well, he was going to attack you. Besides, he might, as any strict HJ agent says, "know too much". So, should we leave him here for the police?

(Veeken is now kneeling, feeling his forehead.)

Veeken: No, that would have a bad effect on the time stream. We gotta take him with us.

Des: But… Fine.

(Des puts on a watch that is reminiscent of the Chrono-watches in A Sitch In Time.)

Des: (cont) But don't expect him to be thrilled to be the captives of two semi-pre-teen girls.

Veeken: Don't worry. I won't.

(There is a flash of light, ala Time Squad, then Veeken, Des, and Ratigan are gone. Later, Basil and some other police officers are looking in the area where Killigan and Drakken accidentally bonked Shego.)

Basil: Two misplaced shields, and strange burn marks on the floor… Interesting…

To Be Continued…


	7. First Meetings

(Cut to some bedroom. A large form is sleeping on the bed, hidden from view. Suddenly-.)

Veeken: (off-screen; softly) Ratigan…

(Obviously, the sleeping person is Ratigan.)

Ratigan: (Muttering in his sleep) Insane cupcakes…

Veeken: Ratigan…

Ratigan: Five more minutes, mother…

Veeken: (loudly) **_RATIGAN_**!!!

(Ratigan sits up straight in bed {Still wearing his usual outfit. Hello, content raters!}, then pulls the covers over his head, terrified. Pull out to reveal that Veeken's standing next to the bed, wearing her normal clothes, this time wearing sunglasses.)

Veeken: (inquisitively) Is it the sunglasses, 'cause I kinda get that a lot. (sighs; to Ratigan) It's okay, they're only sunglasses.

Ratigan: (poking his nose out from under the blanket) Sunglasses?

Veeken: (lowering her sunglasses slightly.) Yeah. What do they look like?

Ratigan: (starting to explain) Well, you see, I thought you were some sort of brown-haired-(recognizes Veeken; contemptuously) **_You_**.

Veeken: (not seeming to care) Yeah, me. Got an issue with that?

(Ratigan looks amazed, and not a little surprised. No one's really talked to him like that before. Veeken turns and walks out of the room. A moment, then Ratigan follows her out the door, stalking her more like a spy, hiding behind things when she looks around, then reappearing when she isn't. Cut to the main computer room where we saw Veeken earlier. Veeken sits down calmly and starts typing. Ratigan creeps in, and stands there, supposedly unnoticed until-.)

Veeken: (cont) Don't think I don't know you're there.

(Ratigan's jaws literally hits the floor. After it comes back up, he starts towards Veeken.)

Ratigan: (clearly trying to ask "How did you do that?") How did you-? I was just-! There's no way-!

(Ratigan keeps trying to make his statement, but Veeken turns around in the chair and holds out her Kimmunicator. There is a model of the ship's interior, and there are two dots in the same room, one labeled "Ratigan", the other "Veeken". Both are close together, almost overlapping.)

Veeken: The Kimmunicator's GPS system.

Ratigan: (not truly satisfied) Oh.

(Veeken calmly turns around and goes back to work.)

Ratigan: (trying to get more answers) Listen, whoever you are, do you know who I am?

(A profile of Ratigan appears on the computer.)

Veeken: Professor James Antonius Ratigan, leader of the European crime ring.

(Ratigan is surprised.)

Ratigan: Right… (to himself) Mysterious girl: One. Me: Zilch. (Out loud) Is there anything else you happen to know, Ms. Cleopatra?

Veeken: Infamous criminal mind, intellectual, former Cambridge University professor and temporary owner of the Mathematical Chair of one of England's universities.

(Ratigan is just shocked now.)

Ratigan: Fine, game, set, match.

(The profile disappears.)

Ratigan: (cont) And just _how_ do you know so much about me, dare I ask?

Veeken: Trade secret.

(A beat. Ratigan throws up his hands, defeated.)

Ratigan: (frustrated) Forget it.

(There is a moment of silence.)

Ratigan: (cont) So… Where're you from?

Veeken: (matter-of-factly) The future.

Ratigan: (surprised) Really-?

(He stops and calms down.)

Ratigan: (faking composure) I mean, really?

Veeken: Yep.

Ratigan: You know, I kind of figured it out from the strange device you happen to be operating.

Veeken: You mean, the computer?

Ratigan: A computer? Really? (examining the keyboard) I actually expected it to be a bit smaller, or at least have more colorful buttons.

(He accidentally presses one labeled "Nacho Dispenser Button". A tray of nachos appears on the dash, though Ratigan leaps back, expecting it to be a bomb.)

Veeken: Could you please try not to touch anything?

(Ratigan sees it's just a tray of nachos, and turns to look at Veeken.)

Ratigan: What? It's not as if it was a bomb! (beat) Was it?

Veeken: No, just nachos.

Ratigan: Oh... nachos, ay?

Veeken: Yes. Now, like I said before, don't touch anything!

Ratigan: What? (chastising) Listen, madam, I don't wish to lecture but don't you think you should show a little more respect-.

(Veeken suddenly leaps up from her seat and pins Ratigan to the wall, his arms pinned behind his back.)

Ratigan: (cont; in pain) Or not.

(Veeken lets him go, and goes back to typing on the computer. Ratigan rubs his wrists in pain.)

Ratigan: (cont) That killed! Ow…

(Ratigan walks up next to Veeken.)

Ratigan: (cont) So, what do you want with me?

Veeken: What makes you think I want something from you?

Ratigan: Well, let me think: Firstly, if you wanted, you could've left me to Scotland Yard. Secondly, I have seen you, which is possibly something you don't want. Thirdly-.

(Veeken turns around, causing Ratigan to shut up.)

Ratigan: (quickly changing the subject) What happened to that other girl that was with you?

(Veeken turns back to the computer and brings up a window, revealing Des walking over a bridge. The camera pans in as she turns around suddenly, but no one's there. She turns around again, and there stands a guy with a sword.)

Sword Man: Lovely night for a walk.

(Des beats him up and throws him over the bridge.)

Des: Friggin' loser!

Ratigan: Well, that explains a lot.

(The camera pans back out to the room.)

Ratigan: But what does this have to do with me? Because if you wanted me to help stop that guy, don't you think you're a little late? (laughs)

Veeken: Absolutely nothing.

Ratigan: Ah.

(The Kimmunicator suddenly projects holograms of Drakken, Shego, Killigan, and the Jackal.)

Veeken: Recognize them?

Ratigan: (nodding furiously) Yes! (pointing to Shego) She's the one who-!

Veeken: (finishing for him) Attacked you?

Ratigan: Yes! But who are the others?

Veeken: (pointing to each of them as she speaks) This is Drakken. He escaped from the Middleton High Security Prison a few days ago. Shego, the one who attacked you and-

Ratigan: Used me as a rodent shield?

Veeken: Yes, that. Anyway, she is Drakken's partner in crime, and is usually not far from him. Duff Killigan is a rogue golfer, who was banned from every known golf course in the world for excessive temper.

Ratigan: Well, then what's his modus operendi, eh? Exploding golf balls?

(A beat.)

Veeken: Yes, it is.

(Ratigan turns and looks into the camera. Metaphorically speaking, he's not exactly in Kansas anymore.)

Veeken: And this is Jackie Oaks, a.k.a. "The Jackal".

(A circular holographic projection screen appears, showing the Jackal in his transformed form, roaring. Ratigan gulps audibly.)

Ratigan: (trying {and failing} to not seem scared) So... What does this have to do with me?

Veeken: It's very simple. We want _you_ to help us stop these crooks.

Ratigan: And _why_ should I do this?

(Veeken turns to face him.)

Ratigan: (cont) I mean, what do I owe you?

Veeken: Aside from your memory?

Ratigan: What?

Veeken: What I'm saying is that I could've left you there and erased your memory back then, but I didn't.

Ratigan: (taken aback) Oh. Well... I don't know.

Veeken: Why don't you?

(Ratigan doesn't answer. There is a moment of silence, then-.)

Ratigan: I can't go home, then?

Veeken: Do you _have_ a home to go to?

Ratigan: Well... No, I guess not...

Veeken: Well, you'd better get some sleep. Tomorrow's your first day of training.

Ratigan: _Training_?

Veeken: You'll see in the morning.

(Ratigan walks out of the room, while Veeken watches him go. Des walks in.)

Des: Veeken?

(No response.)

Veeken: He's not dad... But he has the potential to be a good man.

(Fade to Ratigan uneasily sleeping in the room he woke up in.)

Veeken: (cont) He just needs the chance...

_**To Be Continued...**_


End file.
